Posted by: Tina M | 9 May , 2010

A public declaration of my love of my mother

Dearest Momma,

First, I want to explain that I am writing this letter on my blog instead of in a card because I’ve been sending you cards and letters up until now and I don’t know what I can do to top that except embarrass you with my love by telling the world how much I love you. So with this in mind, I will proceed.

It doesn’t get any easier as the years go by to express to you just how important you’ve been in my life and how lucky I feel to have you play this important role. While in the beginning, I was a young girl knowing that my Mother meant safety, love, and laughter, as I grew I began to notice the subtle nuances that permeated our relationship. You were my mentor, modeling the values and ideals that you hold to your heart and teaching me skills to survive the real world. You were my best friend, always listening and providing me a balanced perspective to my own crazy- and hanging out with me, teaching me to have a good time no matter where I might find myself. And finally, you are an amazing person, that I feel lucky to know and have a continued relationship with.

I think that most folks have complicated relationships with their mothers, memories of love and pain- and while our relationship had it’s ups and downs, I think that we were always on the same side about it. Our downs included the pain of a dissolving family as my Dad moved on to his new wife and my sister moved away to start her own. We faced the pain of living with my Grandmother, your Mom, as her health declined; feeling both lucky to be with her and worn out by the emotional turmoil. And our ups included the daily adventures Ohio life has to offer and magical adventures to Troy farms and cross country road trips. I’ve felt throughout that we’ve been growing up together. And in fact I think what I’m most thankful for is the respect you’ve shown me throughout my life and the ability you’ve had to offer your experience without dismissing my own. I would like to think that I model my own methods of keeping an open mind after yours.

It’s perhaps the most important thing that you’ve taught me, that I both have the ability to change the world and the responsibility to make sure it’s for the better. One of the old mottos from Girlscouts was that “you should always leave things better than the way you found them.” I’ve always admired that you believe this through and through and that this is inspired by love for the world instead of disgust for the present circumstances. It’s hard to resist the cynicism that can accompany critical thought, but you manage to keep your chin up and keep moving forward with that hope and love shining through.

I feel so lucky to have had you as my mother, and I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to watch as you’ve shared this love with others- teenagers in the church youth group that new that you loved unconditionally, my friends at every age, and anyone that crosses your path in need.

Thank you. There’s nothing I can do to appreciate all that you’ve done as a Mother in this world. What I can promise, is that I will try my hardest to pass the love you’ve given me to those that I come into contact with. Keeping in mind that I need to start first with myself, taking care so that I can open my heart to the world every day of my life and be prepared to improve the circumstances that I find myself in.

I love you.

Tina


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