Posted by: Tina M | 8 August , 2011

In Recovery: Slow but Steady

Well another new experience under my belt- a hospital stay.

My stomach started hurting Thursday morning at work and by the evening I wasn’t able to keep anything down and my tummy hurt so intensely that despite the On Call Nurses’ advice to put a heating pad on it- I went to the Emergency Room.

I have only had one other experience with the hospital and that was a few years ago when I had food poisoning from Denny’s. The furthest I went was into one of the Emergency Department rooms while they pumped me full of morphine, anti- nausea  medicine and fluids. This time I was actually admitted to the hospital due to gall stones.

Of course, the treatment remained pretty much the same. Fluids, pain killers, and starting very slowly with clear liquid diet. It was so strange to be in that space. It was surreal to have so many people taking care of me. I appreciate all of the technological advances in terms of scanning my wrist band and all medicines I’m taking so that they can keep track of everything I’m on- but I felt a lot like an item being scanned at the grocery store and they still had to ask me the same questions a million times.

No, I’m not pregnant! This one always makes me laugh because they always seem to doubt my sense of sureness with my answer but I can honestly say I haven’t been exposed to sperm so . . . unless it’s another immaculate conception, I’m pretty sure that’s not the culprit.

No, I don’t smoke cigarettes. No, no coffee grounds or blood- Pain on a scale of 1 to 10? When I’m feeling it, no number describes the sensations that I’m dealing with. But now I’ve started thinking about everything on a scale:

How hungry am I? 7

How tired am I? 4

How anxious am I to be feeling better? 20!

I was released from the hospital on Saturday afternoon. It seemed like whatever problem I was having had passed and now I just need to recover. My body is sore as hell and sensitive. Yesterday, I must’ve overdone it and it knocked me all the way back into sickness.

So here I am. Wanting to spin my wheels and jet forward into feeling better, but having to take a snail’s pace in order to not irritate any further.

Chilling at home and sleeping non-stop I realize that this is the time that I’ve been needing to take. I’ve been looking for a chance to recuperate, focus on myself and take care- but why is it that you can never enjoy it when it’s happening? I’m still constantly thinking about all the things that I should be doing- all that I’m falling behind on. What I wish I could do for those around me.

But I’m stuck being cared for, taking it S-L-O-W, listening to my body, and letting things unfold as they will. Perhaps this is the best lesson I could learn- that it takes a hospital trip to teach. Life continues no matter what, and my own life breathes and grows along with it- and sometimes I need to retreat from the limelight and just exist in my body, down to the most basic functions of survival; Learning how to listen to my body again.

So many thanks for all the love and support I’ve gotten from so many people throughout this experience, for Kaiser’s awesome service, and for my lovely hubby who’s  been so supportive and caring through this all.


  1. Most people just call in sick … Not tina … Gotta be fancy!
    Live u cuz. Glad ur doing better

  2. Im glad that you are feeling betters sweets. I know that you will not fully be recovered until you get that gall bladder out of your body. Please be careful while its in there. Be good to yourself and take care. Let me know if you need anything, I cant do much and taking care of ya is not possible, between work and my little one, I rarely have time to myself. But Ill pray for ya nd hope that when you get it removed, you can be normal tine weena,. Love ya and be well.


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