Posted by: Tina M | 8 September , 2011

Self-Reflection: Mindfulness Practice

Today I had the pleasure of having a one-on-one with a collaborator at work who specializes in the field of Mindfulness. I’ve really appreciated the things I’ve learned in his trainings and strive to practice the techniques more often in my day-to-day living.

So I go into this session not knowing what to expect. Having worked and facilitated beside him we are peers, but in this arena he is the facilitator of the space and almost the “dom” of the interaction.  But he’s asking for consent constantly “May I ask you a question about that?” “If you are ok with it, I’d like to spend some time with what you just said”- “If you’re comfortable, I’d like you to try something”-  and it was both scary and beautiful to have him see me so clearly.

Mindfulness is basically paying attention to what your body is trying to tell you and integrating that into your thought processing. I am very quick to try to quash negative feelings as they spring up in my body, especially at work so it was a challenge to focus on the main feeling in my body which right now is sadness.

He began the conversation with asking me what the best thing in my past week was. I had to say the first thing that came to mind was having some hard conversations and making improvements with my relationship. I also mentioned that I’d had my gallbladder removed two weeks ago and he stopped me.

“Did you see what happened there? Even in you telling me that, what’s happening in your body”

All I could feel was the sadness building up. As I began to cry he helped me to reflect on the waves of sadness would grip my heart and then I would pull myself together and it would suddenly feel like the pieces were in place and I was solid again.

I learned a lot about myself. I learned that my brain runs a mile a minute and moves on before my felt experience has fully been processed. That there is in fact a physical way I can “act out” this tension is through a nod that I do all the time but had never noticed connects to the deep need to rock in as a self-soothing tool. I really recommend looking at what your ticks are and identifying what they do for you- it’s a great tool in taking care of yourself!

It felt so uplifting and so profound- I am grateful to have been provided the experience by my job, as part of my professional development. (How to be human 101- Love it!)

 


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